6 Conversation Strategies to Inspire Your Teen

In America, every 9 seconds a kid drops out of school.

This number is staggering. How is it that in of the richest countries in the world, we are missing out on the opportunity to inspire the teenagers to stop fitting into a box? We are missing out on their creative spirits, their intuitiveness, and their drive to dream like there are no limits.

During the teen years, the brain undergoes more change than any other time except the first 2 months of life. It’s our innate responsibility as adults to encourage teens to be problem solvers, to provoke them into critical thinking and conversations that require them to share their point of view, rather than just re-tell information. As parents, you need to be interested in TV shows, music, and people they are paying attention to – notice, “interested” does not mean you have to like it, it just shows that you care about their side of the story. You cannot manage teens successfully but you can 100% influence & inspire them.

PsychologyToday.com published a great article covering some tips to inspire the best and brightest brain performance of your teenager:

1. Teach your teen to conceive many unique interpretations of movies, books, political discussions, unsettling school or peer issues, or works of art.
2. Encourage your youth to be a problem finder and solution setter for issues that arise daily and discuss how academic content supports this expertise. You have to show them, that school is directly connected to the real world, which is exactly what they learn through Rising Tycoons Academy On-Line
3. Ask your teenager to give you a “message” from a book or movie or hurtful experience rather than a long-winded retell without reflection.
4. Have your adolescent interpret the lyrics of their favorite song from positive and negative perspectives and do the same for your song with them.
5. Watch their favorite TV show with them and share different take-home messages for the different characters.
6. Push for a multitude of answers to a question or problem versus seeking the “right” answer.    

(Adapted from Sandra Bond Chapman, Ph.D., Make Your Brain Smarter)

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As adults, we want to treat teenagers as adults. However, we forget that physiologically, teenagers have limitation due to the simple fact that their brains are still ‘under construction’! One of the best descriptions of a teen’s brain that I’ve come across is by Molly Edmonds:

“For comparison’s sake, think of the teenage brain as an entertainment center that hasn’t been fully hooked up. There are loose wires, so that the speaker system isn’t working with the DVD player, which in turn hasn’t been formatted to work with the TV yet. And to top it all off, the remote control hasn’t even arrived!”

Image courtesy of Reddit

So, how do you deal with this contraption above? As an adult, you just need to be aware of the fact. You have to adapt your expectations for someone (a teen) whose decision-making abilities aren’t fully formed in coupe with a strong desire for rewards and a hormonal need for the adrenaline rush. Hence, teens engage in risky behaviors, make poor choices, and postpone thinking of consequences.

I suggest simple step-by-step rules, choosing your battles, and lots of routines. You, as an adult, must remain the calm one and the reasonable one in all situations. I know it gets difficult at times, when your teen towers above you a few inches, and you just assume that he/she is a ‘grown man/woman” but in reality, it’s just not the case! So stay calm, and carry on your parenting!

Remember too, research shows that teens who have a strong bond with their parents have better emotional disposition, better grades, and are less likely to make poor choices. Staying connected is crucial!

Read more about 5 Simple Methods to Stay Connected to Your Teen here.